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December 19, 2011
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Like the lamb hiding from the lion, I speak carefully not to disturb you. Tip toe around the gates of your feelings, I want you to understand the nature of my words. Like the lion to the lamb, you're so quick to lash out. Much too concerned with your own perseverance and needs to consider mine. This love took me through the clouds of depression and left me sitting among the stars, reveling in the view of the beauty you brought into my life. How is it that the thread I was hanging by so tightly could have snapped so suddenly? No sign of fibers splitting, no sign of our love receding. A lamb as frail as I couldn't dream of rebuilding a bond so strong, but with the help of a lion as glorious as you, we could never fail.
:iconohceedee:
Descriptions make me feel as though I'm breaking the attention from the work itself.

Take from it what you may, but the concept behind this is to love selflessly, and repair what is broken as a team, because any relationship in life is a two way road.

Is my concept clear?
Does the paragraph flow well enough?
What could I have done better?
Link to critique: [link]
:iconquantumrazor:
It's filled with cliche' but it doesn't take away the fact that your words flow fluidly together. Sometimes being vague and obscure can have a more better impact in making a lasting impression.
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:iconwelshprj:
The concept is quite mature...I read your description of what you are writing, but when I read it i feel the lamb is loving selflessly and relying on the lion to make it work by just being there.
Now that being said...this is absolutely well written and I love it.
:)
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